LoCkS aNd CiNdEr BlOcKs

Dictionary:
    Cornered: (v)- to be forced into an awkward or difficult position which escape is impossible.



In a glass box. On a different playing feild than everyone else. Friends standing close but still alone. Staring at everyone else living their lives, so free. Im weighed down by hidden thoughts and feelings. Like being bound by locks from ankles to wrists with dozens of cinder blocks. My mouth sealed shut with glue...trying to break my lips free, but know that if i allow myself to poen my mouth even the slightest bit, the consequence will be devastating. So my destiny by particial decision remains. Up walks a friend with a key to the locks, and to break my mouth free. He feels familiar, like an old friend, but i just consciencely met Him not too long ago. He offers to help. I can see He has been bound before too, but not by something as painless as locks and cinder blocks. Despite the fact that i know He has the answer, i step back and beg Him with my eyes to not unlock me. Although i want to be set free more than anything I'm terrified more than i have ever been before. The consequence seems too great. If i go free now and let myself find happiness, I become vulnerable for the weight to return, possibly worse than it is now. So i decline His much needed healing. So untrusting. He see's my fear and understands. He has felt it before too. He lowers the key and takes a seat next to me. He isn't going to leave or give up on me quite yet. He has been my protection beofre and will be forever. I feel slight comfort knowing He is there but nervous thinking He might grow impatient and leave, letting me stay here despite what loved ones have told me dozens of times.

So i remain in my glass box, bound from ankles to wrists by locks and cinder blocks. I remain watching everyone's lives go by with my hidden thoughts and feelings...so close to the surface.